Wow! It's been so long since I've updated this blog. This summer has been so busy, between my vacations and co-workers' vacations, which mean I have a forever alternating work schedule, I just have not had time to concentrate on this project! But now, I'm back at it. I spent three hours on the phone with my father yesterday and got two interesting blog topics to write about. What I'm focusing on today is mostly historical. 1927 was really a turning point in Chinese history, particularly how it led to the fall of the Kuomingtang and the Communist Revolution. (Keep in mind, I'm writing this as a descendant of so-called "Communist traitors.")
For many years, China was split into states, all of them controlled by warlords. In 1926, the Kuomingtang began what was called the Northern Expedition, which was an effort to unify China. It began in the south and moved north, hence the name. The Communist Party, which was smaller at the time, joined in on the effort. During this period, the Communist Party consisted of a lot of peasants and it was still relatively disorganized so most of its movements were somewhat chaotic.
In April of 1927, Chiang Kai-shek, who was an important military leader then, announced he wanted the Kuomingtang to separate from the Communist Party. As a result, many of the Communists were caught and executed. A few months later, in July, the Kuomingtang officially announced it was going to split from the Communist Party. The Communists retreated from Wuhan quietly. It was from here on out that the Communist Party was declared an illegal organization.
However, just because they were no longer "in power" the Communists did not stop organizing. In fact, it was probably because they were forced to retreat that anger and resentment grew. The party recruited peasants and other uneducated people who were unhappy with the way they were treated by the wealthy. Therefore, the Chinese Communist Party become the force that eventually overthrew the Kuomingtang.
Back to 1926-1927, Wuhan served as a center for all of this activity. This was when my great-grandfather joined the movement and served as an instructor at a military school there. He supported the idea of a unified China. However, he was mortified by the amount of unnecessary violence the Communist Party used to gain control. When the Kuomingtang announced the separation, my great-grandfather was afraid he would be captured by the Communists so he went into hiding with his family. They rented a small apartment in another section of Wuhan and used another name for a while. It wasn't until the Kuomingtang took complete control of Wuhan that my great-grandfather and my family were able to lead somewhat normal lives again.
This was always a very confusing part of Chinese history for me. I wasn't aware the Kuomingtang and the Communist Party worked together for a while. I remember my LaoLao (my mother's mother) telling me when she was young, she was a part of the Communist Party. I was shocked because I know my grandfather, her husband, died at the hands of the Communists during the Revolution in the 1960s. Now I understand. At one point, the two parties were mixed, supposedly fighting for the same goal on the surface, while each secretly wanted to gain total control of the country.
Through this process, I am not only learning about my family's history, I'm learning so much more about Chinese history as well. And what I wrote here is an over-simplified version of events. China's history is so much more complicated than I think I will ever understand. I just hope I can get enough insight to know where I come from.
Showing posts with label grandmother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grandmother. Show all posts
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Long Overdue
I just saw the date of my last post...April 19th. Yikes! It's been a while.
I actually feel really bad about not posting more often. The project is progressing along quite nicely. I'm done with nearly 30 chapters. But I've had so many thoughts running through my head for this blog that it just became entirely too overwhelming and I found myself just avoiding it.
There's actually a little guilt involved as well. What's been wonderful is the deep understanding I'm gaining for my family, my history and my culture. But there is one thing I just can't get out of my head. This isn't something that's new to me. I've wondered it before. It's a cultural thing that I don't think I will ever understand.
Why don't Chinese couples speak to each other with any warmth?
Okay, that's a gross over-generalization, but haven't you ever wondered "Why are those Chinese people yelling at each other?" "Why are they mad at each other" or "That Chinese couple must be fighting." I've been asked those questions many times. The truth is, most of the time, they're not furious with one another, they're just having a conversation.
My parents did this when I was growing up. As we've assimilated into American society, they slowly grew out of it and now they're love for each other is very obvious. Not that I ever doubted it, but it's much more evident in the way they talk to each other now.
Perhaps part of it is the way my father is reading his story. I made fun of him in the beginning of this process, saying he's a great storyteller but his narrating falls a bit flat. I agreed with him when he said he was going to present the book to me as straight forward as possible. But the words he uses give me the same feeling. While there's no question my great-grandmother and great-grandfather were deeply devoted to one another and their family, their choice of words and the tone makes it seem otherwise.
For example, at one point in the book, my grandmother hugs her mother and asks if she loves her father. Simple question, right? One every child asks their parent at some point. In America, if a child were to ask that question, the parent would most likely answer, "Yes, I love your *insert appropriate noun here* very much." Maybe not in those exact words, but something close. Instead, my great-grandmother acted annoyed, brushed off the question and ordered my mother to bed.
Now, of course, there's the old adage - actions speak louder than words. And I agree with that entirely. What good are the words if you don't back them up? But I still don't think there's anything wrong with assuring your children/spouse/significant other that you love them.
Like I said, there's no real answer to this question. It's just one of those big differences between cultures. Something I will never come to understand. In this way, I'm happy I was raised in a country where it's okay to show your feelings for someone else, where it is, in fact, encouraged.
I love my parents, my family, my friends and I am not afraid to say it!
Here's a look at some of the people in my beautiful family:
I actually feel really bad about not posting more often. The project is progressing along quite nicely. I'm done with nearly 30 chapters. But I've had so many thoughts running through my head for this blog that it just became entirely too overwhelming and I found myself just avoiding it.
There's actually a little guilt involved as well. What's been wonderful is the deep understanding I'm gaining for my family, my history and my culture. But there is one thing I just can't get out of my head. This isn't something that's new to me. I've wondered it before. It's a cultural thing that I don't think I will ever understand.
Why don't Chinese couples speak to each other with any warmth?
Okay, that's a gross over-generalization, but haven't you ever wondered "Why are those Chinese people yelling at each other?" "Why are they mad at each other" or "That Chinese couple must be fighting." I've been asked those questions many times. The truth is, most of the time, they're not furious with one another, they're just having a conversation.
My parents did this when I was growing up. As we've assimilated into American society, they slowly grew out of it and now they're love for each other is very obvious. Not that I ever doubted it, but it's much more evident in the way they talk to each other now.
Perhaps part of it is the way my father is reading his story. I made fun of him in the beginning of this process, saying he's a great storyteller but his narrating falls a bit flat. I agreed with him when he said he was going to present the book to me as straight forward as possible. But the words he uses give me the same feeling. While there's no question my great-grandmother and great-grandfather were deeply devoted to one another and their family, their choice of words and the tone makes it seem otherwise.
For example, at one point in the book, my grandmother hugs her mother and asks if she loves her father. Simple question, right? One every child asks their parent at some point. In America, if a child were to ask that question, the parent would most likely answer, "Yes, I love your *insert appropriate noun here* very much." Maybe not in those exact words, but something close. Instead, my great-grandmother acted annoyed, brushed off the question and ordered my mother to bed.
Now, of course, there's the old adage - actions speak louder than words. And I agree with that entirely. What good are the words if you don't back them up? But I still don't think there's anything wrong with assuring your children/spouse/significant other that you love them.
Like I said, there's no real answer to this question. It's just one of those big differences between cultures. Something I will never come to understand. In this way, I'm happy I was raised in a country where it's okay to show your feelings for someone else, where it is, in fact, encouraged.
I love my parents, my family, my friends and I am not afraid to say it!
Here's a look at some of the people in my beautiful family:
My mother, me, my great-grandfather, my father, my uncle
My guess is this was probably 1987 or so (despite the fact that my pants say it's 1973)
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Good People
Before starting this process, I knew very little about my great-grandfather, Nai Nai's father. I knew he was famous and very smart. I knew he was one of the top leaders in the Nationalist Party, working with Chiang Kai-shek. But I did not know who he really was. What kind of man was he? Husband? Father?
As I've mentioned in the earlier posts, I strongly identify with my great-grandmother. But I'm at a place in the book now where my father is beginning to focus more on my great-grandfather. Just based on what I've read so far, I have such a deep admiration for him.
I must admit, during the first several chapters of the book, when he was away at Beijing University, I almost resented him. He left my great-grandmother alone, to live in a house where she was terrorized every day by her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. But just when I really began to ask where the heck was my great-grandfather, my father would include enough little nuggets to show his strength of character and renew my trust in him. Even though tradition bid against it, he vowed to care for his daughters and build a life for his family. In order to get his wife away from that horrifying environment, he moved the family to Shanghai where he had a job as an entry-level editor at a publishing house. He made very little money. But yet, this man, who grew up in a wealthy home, worked for every penny he earned.
The last several chapters have given me great insight into my great-grandfather's brilliance. (I'm on chapter 20, by the way) Two major incidents have happened so far. First, my great-grandfather was able to stop the sale of a huge Shanghai factory to a German company. Representing two big stakeholders of the company, my great-grandfather went to a stakeholders meeting and essentially said the company was breaking its own policy by agreeing to the sale without a vote. And the two-thirds majority needed for a sale actually voted against it. Had my grandfather not stood up at that meeting and spoken up, the company would have been sold to Germany. Because of that, my great-grandfather became famous, almost overnight.
The second major incident involved an article he wrote. On May 30, 1925, labor workers protested in the streets of Shanghai. Shanghai Municipal Police officers (made up of British officers) opened fire and killed several workers. As you can imagine, this caused massive fury among Chinese people. How can foreigners come to China and kill Chinese people? My great-grandfather, having studied law at Beijing University, was asked to write an article about how these British officers broke British law. His article appeared in the largest Shanghai newspaper at the time. As a result, he was taken to court by the British consulate. I don't know what happens next because this is about as far as I've gotten.
I have to say, what's impressed me the most, so far, have been the conversations my great-grandfather has had with Nai Nai, who is only three-years-old at this point. For example, I mentioned how my great-grandfather worked very hard for every penny. Despite his family's wealth, he did not get anything from them. Therefore, he and his family lived a modest life. My great-grandfather wore a lot of old clothes. On numerous occasions, my great-grandfather was treated poorly based on his appearance. He told Nai Nai each time, never judge people based on what they look like on the outside. It's their mind, intellect, character that's important. Treat people with respect and you will receive it in return.
It makes me feel good to know this is where I come from.
As I've mentioned in the earlier posts, I strongly identify with my great-grandmother. But I'm at a place in the book now where my father is beginning to focus more on my great-grandfather. Just based on what I've read so far, I have such a deep admiration for him.
I must admit, during the first several chapters of the book, when he was away at Beijing University, I almost resented him. He left my great-grandmother alone, to live in a house where she was terrorized every day by her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. But just when I really began to ask where the heck was my great-grandfather, my father would include enough little nuggets to show his strength of character and renew my trust in him. Even though tradition bid against it, he vowed to care for his daughters and build a life for his family. In order to get his wife away from that horrifying environment, he moved the family to Shanghai where he had a job as an entry-level editor at a publishing house. He made very little money. But yet, this man, who grew up in a wealthy home, worked for every penny he earned.
The last several chapters have given me great insight into my great-grandfather's brilliance. (I'm on chapter 20, by the way) Two major incidents have happened so far. First, my great-grandfather was able to stop the sale of a huge Shanghai factory to a German company. Representing two big stakeholders of the company, my great-grandfather went to a stakeholders meeting and essentially said the company was breaking its own policy by agreeing to the sale without a vote. And the two-thirds majority needed for a sale actually voted against it. Had my grandfather not stood up at that meeting and spoken up, the company would have been sold to Germany. Because of that, my great-grandfather became famous, almost overnight.
The second major incident involved an article he wrote. On May 30, 1925, labor workers protested in the streets of Shanghai. Shanghai Municipal Police officers (made up of British officers) opened fire and killed several workers. As you can imagine, this caused massive fury among Chinese people. How can foreigners come to China and kill Chinese people? My great-grandfather, having studied law at Beijing University, was asked to write an article about how these British officers broke British law. His article appeared in the largest Shanghai newspaper at the time. As a result, he was taken to court by the British consulate. I don't know what happens next because this is about as far as I've gotten.
I have to say, what's impressed me the most, so far, have been the conversations my great-grandfather has had with Nai Nai, who is only three-years-old at this point. For example, I mentioned how my great-grandfather worked very hard for every penny. Despite his family's wealth, he did not get anything from them. Therefore, he and his family lived a modest life. My great-grandfather wore a lot of old clothes. On numerous occasions, my great-grandfather was treated poorly based on his appearance. He told Nai Nai each time, never judge people based on what they look like on the outside. It's their mind, intellect, character that's important. Treat people with respect and you will receive it in return.
It makes me feel good to know this is where I come from.
My great-grandfather with two of his sons
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Historical Context
I remember watching a documentary when I was young about an event I knew very little about. It's referred to as the Rape of Nanking or the Nanking Massacre. I remember being absolutely horrified at the atrocities being committed by Japanese soldiers.
Let me preface this by saying I, personally, feel no hatred or disdain for Japanese people. I understand what happened then has little to do with people now. However, I get asked a lot, why do Chinese people hate Japanese people? I believe this may be one of the reasons why. Keep in mind, this is simply a blog, not a historical text so much of this is opinion and events from my point of view.
In 1937, Japan invaded China and started taking over cities. Nai Nai's family was caught up in this and forced to move from city to city to escape the Japanese. They were brutal. If you type Nanking Massacre into google, you'll find numerous articles about the event. Some estimates say 300,000 Chinese people were killed during the 6 week period. I won't go into great detail here, but it is shocking to think of the viciousness and cruelty the Japanese soldiers were capable of. They went door-to-door, searching for women to rape. Not just young or middle-aged women, they went after elderly women, pregnant women, young girls, even infants. After they raped them, some gang-raped, they killed them, sometimes mutilating them first. I think what is most disturbing about all this, is the amount of documentation. I'm not talking about news articles or journals kept by people who lived through it, or even their personal accounts by memory. I'm talking about photos of Japanese soldiers holding up severed heads and smiling, standing over dead bodies looking pleased. What a dark time in China's history, and one that so few people know about.
When I watched the documentary as a child, I didn't make a connection to my own family living through that time. While my father's book does not discuss the violence directly, he makes reference to it. In fact, my great-grandfather, Nai Nai's father was a government official at the time who got caught in the middle. You see, Japan took advantage of a country that was already weak and torn. Japanese occupation only further ripped the country apart, with some supporting a military defense, others supporting negotiations. My great-grandfather was somewhere in between. He already left Chongqing, which is where the Chinese government was stationed during the war. That was viewed as a betrayal. Yet, he did not know if negotiations would be successful. Either way, he felt like he had signed a death sentence.
I just finished the chapter where my great-grandfather leaves his family in Hong Kong and goes to Shanghai to join the negotiations. He doesn't know if he'll ever come home.
Let me preface this by saying I, personally, feel no hatred or disdain for Japanese people. I understand what happened then has little to do with people now. However, I get asked a lot, why do Chinese people hate Japanese people? I believe this may be one of the reasons why. Keep in mind, this is simply a blog, not a historical text so much of this is opinion and events from my point of view.
In 1937, Japan invaded China and started taking over cities. Nai Nai's family was caught up in this and forced to move from city to city to escape the Japanese. They were brutal. If you type Nanking Massacre into google, you'll find numerous articles about the event. Some estimates say 300,000 Chinese people were killed during the 6 week period. I won't go into great detail here, but it is shocking to think of the viciousness and cruelty the Japanese soldiers were capable of. They went door-to-door, searching for women to rape. Not just young or middle-aged women, they went after elderly women, pregnant women, young girls, even infants. After they raped them, some gang-raped, they killed them, sometimes mutilating them first. I think what is most disturbing about all this, is the amount of documentation. I'm not talking about news articles or journals kept by people who lived through it, or even their personal accounts by memory. I'm talking about photos of Japanese soldiers holding up severed heads and smiling, standing over dead bodies looking pleased. What a dark time in China's history, and one that so few people know about.
When I watched the documentary as a child, I didn't make a connection to my own family living through that time. While my father's book does not discuss the violence directly, he makes reference to it. In fact, my great-grandfather, Nai Nai's father was a government official at the time who got caught in the middle. You see, Japan took advantage of a country that was already weak and torn. Japanese occupation only further ripped the country apart, with some supporting a military defense, others supporting negotiations. My great-grandfather was somewhere in between. He already left Chongqing, which is where the Chinese government was stationed during the war. That was viewed as a betrayal. Yet, he did not know if negotiations would be successful. Either way, he felt like he had signed a death sentence.
I just finished the chapter where my great-grandfather leaves his family in Hong Kong and goes to Shanghai to join the negotiations. He doesn't know if he'll ever come home.
Nai Nai's family, my great-grandfather is on the right
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Chapter 8
I just wrote the last sentence to chapter 8, something that took me 5 days.
I knew this chapter would be different from all the other ones before it. Chapters 1-7 gave me a little insight to my grandmother as a young woman. It's funny because I always pictured her as this extraordinarily strong woman, but in the first and fifth chapters, my father introduces her as a slightly spoiled teenager. I enjoyed it because I could certainly relate to her much better. In the chapters in between, I heard about my great-grandparents, their arranged marriage and their great respect for one another that turned into love. I learned about my great-grandfather's great love and dedication to his daughters, despite his own family's disgust that they were girls.
While reading one of the earlier chapters, I found out something about my family I never knew before. My grandmother had an older sister. My father always said Nai Nai was the oldest of 7 children. He never mentioned an older sister. So when my great-grandmother gave birth to her first child, I thought it was my grandmother, until I discovered the name. Unfortunately, I knew this could only mean one thing.
Like I mentioned earlier, I knew chapter 8 was going to be different because my dad sent it as two separate audio files. He mentioned he got choked up and wasn't sure how to pause the recorder so he stopped it. I thought I was mentally prepared for what was to come.
Little did I know, I would be sitting in the middle of a bookstore, crying my eyes out as I translated. I should have known better than to grow attached to Nai Nai's sister. I knew she wasn't going to survive, yet I let myself love her so much. When she passed away at the end of chapter 8, I took it very personally. She was only 3-years-old. I eventually left the bookstore, afraid I was making too big of a scene with my tear-soaked napkins and noisy sobs. I called my dad barely able to speak. My heart just ached for my great-grandmother who couldn't do anything to stop this disease that took her daughter's life and for the little girl whose short life was already filled with so much pain.
Right now, I'm about to begin chapter 9. This time I'm staying at home, armed with tissues because my father told me to be prepared.
So...here we go.
I knew this chapter would be different from all the other ones before it. Chapters 1-7 gave me a little insight to my grandmother as a young woman. It's funny because I always pictured her as this extraordinarily strong woman, but in the first and fifth chapters, my father introduces her as a slightly spoiled teenager. I enjoyed it because I could certainly relate to her much better. In the chapters in between, I heard about my great-grandparents, their arranged marriage and their great respect for one another that turned into love. I learned about my great-grandfather's great love and dedication to his daughters, despite his own family's disgust that they were girls.
While reading one of the earlier chapters, I found out something about my family I never knew before. My grandmother had an older sister. My father always said Nai Nai was the oldest of 7 children. He never mentioned an older sister. So when my great-grandmother gave birth to her first child, I thought it was my grandmother, until I discovered the name. Unfortunately, I knew this could only mean one thing.
Like I mentioned earlier, I knew chapter 8 was going to be different because my dad sent it as two separate audio files. He mentioned he got choked up and wasn't sure how to pause the recorder so he stopped it. I thought I was mentally prepared for what was to come.
Little did I know, I would be sitting in the middle of a bookstore, crying my eyes out as I translated. I should have known better than to grow attached to Nai Nai's sister. I knew she wasn't going to survive, yet I let myself love her so much. When she passed away at the end of chapter 8, I took it very personally. She was only 3-years-old. I eventually left the bookstore, afraid I was making too big of a scene with my tear-soaked napkins and noisy sobs. I called my dad barely able to speak. My heart just ached for my great-grandmother who couldn't do anything to stop this disease that took her daughter's life and for the little girl whose short life was already filled with so much pain.
Right now, I'm about to begin chapter 9. This time I'm staying at home, armed with tissues because my father told me to be prepared.
So...here we go.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Taking One Step Back
So before I get too far into the translation process, I thought I'd give a little background.
My father's book in Chinese is called Suo Na Yan Chen. Suo Na is a Chinese instrument. Wikipedia refers to it as a Chinese oboe. Yan Chen is the dust kicked up by your feet when you walk. These are references to my great-grandmother's wedding day, which I'll talk more about another time, when I actually start getting into the chapters.
The book is set up like this: every 5th chapter is about Nai Nai as a teenager. The chapters in between are about her parents, my great-grandparents. At first, I didn't know how interested I would be in the chapters about my great-grandparents. But so far, I've enjoyed those the most!
Here's what I already knew about Nai Nai before I started the book. Her favorite book was Tess of the D'Urbervilles. She was the oldest of 7 children and the only girl. Her father, my great-grandfather, worked as an adviser to Chiang Kai-shek, the leader of the Nationalist Party in China during the early 20th century. Because of my family's ties with the Kuomingtang, they were forced to escape to Taiwan when Mao Zedong led the Chinese Communist revolution. My grandmother, though, chose to stay in mainland China for my grandfather. At one point, my grandmother was accepted to a university in England, but she did not go. I'm not too clear as to the reason why. Finally, my grandmother was a great moving force in my father's life, both in her life and in her death.
That's not very much and I'm unsure of a lot of the details. In fact, I don't even know how many of those details are actually true and how many have gotten lost in my brain over time. It's too bad I didn't listen more carefully as I was growing up. (My dad is reading this blog so maybe he can add some insight.)
So far, I've translated 8 chapters. Some of them easier than others. My father included a lot of historical events. Everything in the book is true. In addition, my father wrote his book to appeal to the Chinese reader, who wants to read about historical facts rather than develop emotional attachments to compelling people and stories. And since the Tao family is relatively well-known in Chinese history, my father made sure he wrote this book using the highest level of classical Chinese, so there are a lot of terms I don't understand. But even through all that, he has this amazing ability to create characters that I'm really bonding with. I like to think it's not just because my father is a brilliant storyteller, but more because these people aren't merely characters...they're my ancestors, my family, my blood.
Yesterday, after starting this blog, I asked my dad to email me some photos of my grandmother. I feel like to see her is to know her.
I'll start with a photo that features my two inspirations for this great personal journey:
Yes, I know...I thought the exact same thing when I saw this picture for the first time. My father was such a cute little baby and Nai Nai was absolutely beautiful!
I'm just so glad I'm old enough now to appreciate how lucky I am to have such a rich family history. And one that has been captured so well through words passed down through the generations. I only hope to continue this tradition in my own way.
My father's book in Chinese is called Suo Na Yan Chen. Suo Na is a Chinese instrument. Wikipedia refers to it as a Chinese oboe. Yan Chen is the dust kicked up by your feet when you walk. These are references to my great-grandmother's wedding day, which I'll talk more about another time, when I actually start getting into the chapters.
The book is set up like this: every 5th chapter is about Nai Nai as a teenager. The chapters in between are about her parents, my great-grandparents. At first, I didn't know how interested I would be in the chapters about my great-grandparents. But so far, I've enjoyed those the most!
Here's what I already knew about Nai Nai before I started the book. Her favorite book was Tess of the D'Urbervilles. She was the oldest of 7 children and the only girl. Her father, my great-grandfather, worked as an adviser to Chiang Kai-shek, the leader of the Nationalist Party in China during the early 20th century. Because of my family's ties with the Kuomingtang, they were forced to escape to Taiwan when Mao Zedong led the Chinese Communist revolution. My grandmother, though, chose to stay in mainland China for my grandfather. At one point, my grandmother was accepted to a university in England, but she did not go. I'm not too clear as to the reason why. Finally, my grandmother was a great moving force in my father's life, both in her life and in her death.
That's not very much and I'm unsure of a lot of the details. In fact, I don't even know how many of those details are actually true and how many have gotten lost in my brain over time. It's too bad I didn't listen more carefully as I was growing up. (My dad is reading this blog so maybe he can add some insight.)
So far, I've translated 8 chapters. Some of them easier than others. My father included a lot of historical events. Everything in the book is true. In addition, my father wrote his book to appeal to the Chinese reader, who wants to read about historical facts rather than develop emotional attachments to compelling people and stories. And since the Tao family is relatively well-known in Chinese history, my father made sure he wrote this book using the highest level of classical Chinese, so there are a lot of terms I don't understand. But even through all that, he has this amazing ability to create characters that I'm really bonding with. I like to think it's not just because my father is a brilliant storyteller, but more because these people aren't merely characters...they're my ancestors, my family, my blood.
Yesterday, after starting this blog, I asked my dad to email me some photos of my grandmother. I feel like to see her is to know her.
I'll start with a photo that features my two inspirations for this great personal journey:
Yes, I know...I thought the exact same thing when I saw this picture for the first time. My father was such a cute little baby and Nai Nai was absolutely beautiful!
I'm just so glad I'm old enough now to appreciate how lucky I am to have such a rich family history. And one that has been captured so well through words passed down through the generations. I only hope to continue this tradition in my own way.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Getting Started
My father is a writer. Unfortunately for me and, in my opinion, other American readers, he writes in Chinese. All of his books are published in China and Taiwan. His greatest piece of work is the book he wrote about his mother, who I call Nai Nai. That book is the inspiration for this blog.
I remember when he started writing this book. I had just started high school and was too busy trying to be American to really care. I grew up hearing my dad's stories about our family's history, so I usually just feigned interest, rolled my eyes and sighed loudly.
It wasn't until recently that I began to think about Nai Nai's life. This woman, who died when my father was a teenager during the Chinese Cultural Revolution, was such a mystery to me. Sure I've heard my dad say she led a remarkable life. She was incredibly strong during a very difficult time in Chinese history. With everything going against her, she was able to rise above and continue to live her life with class and dignity. But that's all so general! Who was she really? I can see the black and white photo my dad hangs in his office perfectly in my head. What an embarrassment. Not only am I a granddaughter who doesn't know a thing about her grandmother, I am a daughter who has never even read her own father's book.
So, a couple of months ago, I decided to start this journey. I asked my dad to read his book and record it for me. Right now, I'm translating the chapters into English. The goal is to someday write a book about Nai Nai's story myself. I know my father never wanted his book translated into English so it could be published in the United States. He probably felt it was too personal and the emotional attachment would get lost in translation. More importantly, he probably waited because he wanted me to write it. Well, scratch that "probably" because I know he's always wanted me to write it. And that's most likely the reason I've avoided the subject for as long as I did.
It's incredibly intimidating. From just the writing standpoint, this will be challenging enough. I spent the last 7 years of my life writing at a 4th grade level for TV news viewers. But, personally...I just don't know what to expect. My mother once told me, while my father wrote this book, there were nights he would cry himself to sleep. While telling his mother's story was one of the most important things he had to do in life, it was also one of the hardest. He essentially had to relive all of her pain and suffering. She grew up during the Japanese invasion of China and died during the Communist takeover. What will all of this mean to me?
This blog is a journal of my experience as I explore Nai Nai's life. I'm still working on a title and how I want to chronicle this. After all, if the book ever gets published (fingers crossed!) I don't want to give away too many details about the book itself.
I remember when he started writing this book. I had just started high school and was too busy trying to be American to really care. I grew up hearing my dad's stories about our family's history, so I usually just feigned interest, rolled my eyes and sighed loudly.
It wasn't until recently that I began to think about Nai Nai's life. This woman, who died when my father was a teenager during the Chinese Cultural Revolution, was such a mystery to me. Sure I've heard my dad say she led a remarkable life. She was incredibly strong during a very difficult time in Chinese history. With everything going against her, she was able to rise above and continue to live her life with class and dignity. But that's all so general! Who was she really? I can see the black and white photo my dad hangs in his office perfectly in my head. What an embarrassment. Not only am I a granddaughter who doesn't know a thing about her grandmother, I am a daughter who has never even read her own father's book.
So, a couple of months ago, I decided to start this journey. I asked my dad to read his book and record it for me. Right now, I'm translating the chapters into English. The goal is to someday write a book about Nai Nai's story myself. I know my father never wanted his book translated into English so it could be published in the United States. He probably felt it was too personal and the emotional attachment would get lost in translation. More importantly, he probably waited because he wanted me to write it. Well, scratch that "probably" because I know he's always wanted me to write it. And that's most likely the reason I've avoided the subject for as long as I did.
It's incredibly intimidating. From just the writing standpoint, this will be challenging enough. I spent the last 7 years of my life writing at a 4th grade level for TV news viewers. But, personally...I just don't know what to expect. My mother once told me, while my father wrote this book, there were nights he would cry himself to sleep. While telling his mother's story was one of the most important things he had to do in life, it was also one of the hardest. He essentially had to relive all of her pain and suffering. She grew up during the Japanese invasion of China and died during the Communist takeover. What will all of this mean to me?
This blog is a journal of my experience as I explore Nai Nai's life. I'm still working on a title and how I want to chronicle this. After all, if the book ever gets published (fingers crossed!) I don't want to give away too many details about the book itself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
