In the 27 years of my life so far, I have never been able to keep a plant alive. Several years ago, I tried to raise a spider plant, which I was told is impossible to kill. Well, one day, I put it out on the patio and forgot about it. Then, it rained for three days straight. A couple of years ago, when we had just started dating, my boyfriend bought me the most beautiful red orchid. He asked the florist for very specific instructions on how to care for it. But, I went out of town two weeks after receiving this incredibly thoughtful gift, turned my air conditioner off in the middle of July, and it sweat to death. Last year, I received a tomato plant and a little herb planter with basil, oregano, thyme, and Italian parsley. I managed to keep the herbs alive for two months, but I did not get a single tomato.
Now, onto this year. I'm determined to keep things alive! I planted some basil and sage and yellow peppers (I have officially given up on tomatoes). I also bought a couple of begonias and a limelight dracaena. Keeping my fingers crossed that this year will be the year, because despite all my failed attempts, I just know I love plants and I would love to have a successful garden.
What does this have to do with my father's book, you ask?
I just finished a chapter where my father talks about my great-grandmother's love for gardening. When she lived at Tao Sheng Lo with her mother-in-law, she did not have the freedom to garden. That was a job left up to the servants. But when they moved to Shanghai, my great-grandmother managed to turn their tiny little courtyard into a beautiful flower garden. Her favorite flower was the rose. She had lovely rose bushes with big blooming pink, yellow, and deep red roses. What I love about her, among many other things, is what she did with the roses. She planted them, cared for them and, of course, admired them. She plucked them and put them in vases around the house. But, after they would wilt, she would pull the petals and put them in water to preserve the fragrance. Then, when the water would evaporate and the petals would dry, she would crush them and make what we would now consider little potpourri pouches. Brilliant woman, my great-grandmother.
Maybe it sounds silly and shallow, but I like knowing that I share this love for gardening with my great-grandmother, even though my skills could take a little more cultivating. While I admire and respect her will and strength, I know I will never completely understand what she went through in life because I will never have life experiences as difficult or as frightening as hers.
But through a love for gardening, I can connect with her just a little and possibly experience a tiny fraction of her life.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Good People
Before starting this process, I knew very little about my great-grandfather, Nai Nai's father. I knew he was famous and very smart. I knew he was one of the top leaders in the Nationalist Party, working with Chiang Kai-shek. But I did not know who he really was. What kind of man was he? Husband? Father?
As I've mentioned in the earlier posts, I strongly identify with my great-grandmother. But I'm at a place in the book now where my father is beginning to focus more on my great-grandfather. Just based on what I've read so far, I have such a deep admiration for him.
I must admit, during the first several chapters of the book, when he was away at Beijing University, I almost resented him. He left my great-grandmother alone, to live in a house where she was terrorized every day by her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. But just when I really began to ask where the heck was my great-grandfather, my father would include enough little nuggets to show his strength of character and renew my trust in him. Even though tradition bid against it, he vowed to care for his daughters and build a life for his family. In order to get his wife away from that horrifying environment, he moved the family to Shanghai where he had a job as an entry-level editor at a publishing house. He made very little money. But yet, this man, who grew up in a wealthy home, worked for every penny he earned.
The last several chapters have given me great insight into my great-grandfather's brilliance. (I'm on chapter 20, by the way) Two major incidents have happened so far. First, my great-grandfather was able to stop the sale of a huge Shanghai factory to a German company. Representing two big stakeholders of the company, my great-grandfather went to a stakeholders meeting and essentially said the company was breaking its own policy by agreeing to the sale without a vote. And the two-thirds majority needed for a sale actually voted against it. Had my grandfather not stood up at that meeting and spoken up, the company would have been sold to Germany. Because of that, my great-grandfather became famous, almost overnight.
The second major incident involved an article he wrote. On May 30, 1925, labor workers protested in the streets of Shanghai. Shanghai Municipal Police officers (made up of British officers) opened fire and killed several workers. As you can imagine, this caused massive fury among Chinese people. How can foreigners come to China and kill Chinese people? My great-grandfather, having studied law at Beijing University, was asked to write an article about how these British officers broke British law. His article appeared in the largest Shanghai newspaper at the time. As a result, he was taken to court by the British consulate. I don't know what happens next because this is about as far as I've gotten.
I have to say, what's impressed me the most, so far, have been the conversations my great-grandfather has had with Nai Nai, who is only three-years-old at this point. For example, I mentioned how my great-grandfather worked very hard for every penny. Despite his family's wealth, he did not get anything from them. Therefore, he and his family lived a modest life. My great-grandfather wore a lot of old clothes. On numerous occasions, my great-grandfather was treated poorly based on his appearance. He told Nai Nai each time, never judge people based on what they look like on the outside. It's their mind, intellect, character that's important. Treat people with respect and you will receive it in return.
It makes me feel good to know this is where I come from.
As I've mentioned in the earlier posts, I strongly identify with my great-grandmother. But I'm at a place in the book now where my father is beginning to focus more on my great-grandfather. Just based on what I've read so far, I have such a deep admiration for him.
I must admit, during the first several chapters of the book, when he was away at Beijing University, I almost resented him. He left my great-grandmother alone, to live in a house where she was terrorized every day by her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. But just when I really began to ask where the heck was my great-grandfather, my father would include enough little nuggets to show his strength of character and renew my trust in him. Even though tradition bid against it, he vowed to care for his daughters and build a life for his family. In order to get his wife away from that horrifying environment, he moved the family to Shanghai where he had a job as an entry-level editor at a publishing house. He made very little money. But yet, this man, who grew up in a wealthy home, worked for every penny he earned.
The last several chapters have given me great insight into my great-grandfather's brilliance. (I'm on chapter 20, by the way) Two major incidents have happened so far. First, my great-grandfather was able to stop the sale of a huge Shanghai factory to a German company. Representing two big stakeholders of the company, my great-grandfather went to a stakeholders meeting and essentially said the company was breaking its own policy by agreeing to the sale without a vote. And the two-thirds majority needed for a sale actually voted against it. Had my grandfather not stood up at that meeting and spoken up, the company would have been sold to Germany. Because of that, my great-grandfather became famous, almost overnight.
The second major incident involved an article he wrote. On May 30, 1925, labor workers protested in the streets of Shanghai. Shanghai Municipal Police officers (made up of British officers) opened fire and killed several workers. As you can imagine, this caused massive fury among Chinese people. How can foreigners come to China and kill Chinese people? My great-grandfather, having studied law at Beijing University, was asked to write an article about how these British officers broke British law. His article appeared in the largest Shanghai newspaper at the time. As a result, he was taken to court by the British consulate. I don't know what happens next because this is about as far as I've gotten.
I have to say, what's impressed me the most, so far, have been the conversations my great-grandfather has had with Nai Nai, who is only three-years-old at this point. For example, I mentioned how my great-grandfather worked very hard for every penny. Despite his family's wealth, he did not get anything from them. Therefore, he and his family lived a modest life. My great-grandfather wore a lot of old clothes. On numerous occasions, my great-grandfather was treated poorly based on his appearance. He told Nai Nai each time, never judge people based on what they look like on the outside. It's their mind, intellect, character that's important. Treat people with respect and you will receive it in return.
It makes me feel good to know this is where I come from.
My great-grandfather with two of his sons
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Making Up for Lost Time
I feel terrible. I've been neglecting this project for a couple of weeks now. I went on vacation and did not have time to work on the book at all. So this weekend, I've been playing catch up.
What's interesting to me in this process is when I began I thought would really enjoy the chapters about NaiNai and focus mostly on those. But now, my favorites are the chapters about my great-grandparents. I suppose it's the hopeless romantic in me. I see their story is a love story. It's the story of a family that was struggling under the hand of a repressive matriarch, so they escaped to start a life of their own. I'm finding myself looking forward to these chapters the most.
Through reading these chapters, I'm discovering where NaiNai found her strength. She got it from her mother, my great-grandmother. Here was a woman who was betrothed to a man she had never met. On her wedding day, he was not there. Instead, she launched right into her life as the daughter-in-law. Her mother-in-law was the head of the house. She was a strict, traditional woman who believed her only goal in life was to produce as many sons for the Tao family as possible. My great-grandmother was beaten, put down, and consistently humiliated by her mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law. When my great-grandmother failed to give birth to a boy, she was essentially shunned from the house. Aside from the work she was required to do, she was otherwise ignored. When she was pregnant again, no one was around to help her. She had to go through the childbirth alone. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, she lost her first daughter to disease. Again, she was alone, this time in her grief. My great-grandfather was away at school and her mother-in-law did not allow her to write him a letter, letting him know about their daughter's death. Immediately after, NaiNai got sick as well. My great-grandmother had to travel to Wuhan, a big city, all by herself to find a doctor for a cure. Where did she find the strength? Where did she find the courage? Did I mention she was younger than I am now when she went though all of this?
I am meeting so many extraordinary women through this journey. This makes me extremely proud to be a part of this family. I know that my great-grandfather did amazing things as well and he was a very powerful man. But I simply identify more with these incredible women who survived so much. They fought for their families. If I can have half as much fortitude as they did in my lifetime, I will consider myself very lucky.
What's interesting to me in this process is when I began I thought would really enjoy the chapters about NaiNai and focus mostly on those. But now, my favorites are the chapters about my great-grandparents. I suppose it's the hopeless romantic in me. I see their story is a love story. It's the story of a family that was struggling under the hand of a repressive matriarch, so they escaped to start a life of their own. I'm finding myself looking forward to these chapters the most.
Through reading these chapters, I'm discovering where NaiNai found her strength. She got it from her mother, my great-grandmother. Here was a woman who was betrothed to a man she had never met. On her wedding day, he was not there. Instead, she launched right into her life as the daughter-in-law. Her mother-in-law was the head of the house. She was a strict, traditional woman who believed her only goal in life was to produce as many sons for the Tao family as possible. My great-grandmother was beaten, put down, and consistently humiliated by her mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law. When my great-grandmother failed to give birth to a boy, she was essentially shunned from the house. Aside from the work she was required to do, she was otherwise ignored. When she was pregnant again, no one was around to help her. She had to go through the childbirth alone. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, she lost her first daughter to disease. Again, she was alone, this time in her grief. My great-grandfather was away at school and her mother-in-law did not allow her to write him a letter, letting him know about their daughter's death. Immediately after, NaiNai got sick as well. My great-grandmother had to travel to Wuhan, a big city, all by herself to find a doctor for a cure. Where did she find the strength? Where did she find the courage? Did I mention she was younger than I am now when she went though all of this?
I am meeting so many extraordinary women through this journey. This makes me extremely proud to be a part of this family. I know that my great-grandfather did amazing things as well and he was a very powerful man. But I simply identify more with these incredible women who survived so much. They fought for their families. If I can have half as much fortitude as they did in my lifetime, I will consider myself very lucky.
Here's my great-grandmother with some of her children. NaiNai is on the far left.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Historical Context
I remember watching a documentary when I was young about an event I knew very little about. It's referred to as the Rape of Nanking or the Nanking Massacre. I remember being absolutely horrified at the atrocities being committed by Japanese soldiers.
Let me preface this by saying I, personally, feel no hatred or disdain for Japanese people. I understand what happened then has little to do with people now. However, I get asked a lot, why do Chinese people hate Japanese people? I believe this may be one of the reasons why. Keep in mind, this is simply a blog, not a historical text so much of this is opinion and events from my point of view.
In 1937, Japan invaded China and started taking over cities. Nai Nai's family was caught up in this and forced to move from city to city to escape the Japanese. They were brutal. If you type Nanking Massacre into google, you'll find numerous articles about the event. Some estimates say 300,000 Chinese people were killed during the 6 week period. I won't go into great detail here, but it is shocking to think of the viciousness and cruelty the Japanese soldiers were capable of. They went door-to-door, searching for women to rape. Not just young or middle-aged women, they went after elderly women, pregnant women, young girls, even infants. After they raped them, some gang-raped, they killed them, sometimes mutilating them first. I think what is most disturbing about all this, is the amount of documentation. I'm not talking about news articles or journals kept by people who lived through it, or even their personal accounts by memory. I'm talking about photos of Japanese soldiers holding up severed heads and smiling, standing over dead bodies looking pleased. What a dark time in China's history, and one that so few people know about.
When I watched the documentary as a child, I didn't make a connection to my own family living through that time. While my father's book does not discuss the violence directly, he makes reference to it. In fact, my great-grandfather, Nai Nai's father was a government official at the time who got caught in the middle. You see, Japan took advantage of a country that was already weak and torn. Japanese occupation only further ripped the country apart, with some supporting a military defense, others supporting negotiations. My great-grandfather was somewhere in between. He already left Chongqing, which is where the Chinese government was stationed during the war. That was viewed as a betrayal. Yet, he did not know if negotiations would be successful. Either way, he felt like he had signed a death sentence.
I just finished the chapter where my great-grandfather leaves his family in Hong Kong and goes to Shanghai to join the negotiations. He doesn't know if he'll ever come home.
Let me preface this by saying I, personally, feel no hatred or disdain for Japanese people. I understand what happened then has little to do with people now. However, I get asked a lot, why do Chinese people hate Japanese people? I believe this may be one of the reasons why. Keep in mind, this is simply a blog, not a historical text so much of this is opinion and events from my point of view.
In 1937, Japan invaded China and started taking over cities. Nai Nai's family was caught up in this and forced to move from city to city to escape the Japanese. They were brutal. If you type Nanking Massacre into google, you'll find numerous articles about the event. Some estimates say 300,000 Chinese people were killed during the 6 week period. I won't go into great detail here, but it is shocking to think of the viciousness and cruelty the Japanese soldiers were capable of. They went door-to-door, searching for women to rape. Not just young or middle-aged women, they went after elderly women, pregnant women, young girls, even infants. After they raped them, some gang-raped, they killed them, sometimes mutilating them first. I think what is most disturbing about all this, is the amount of documentation. I'm not talking about news articles or journals kept by people who lived through it, or even their personal accounts by memory. I'm talking about photos of Japanese soldiers holding up severed heads and smiling, standing over dead bodies looking pleased. What a dark time in China's history, and one that so few people know about.
When I watched the documentary as a child, I didn't make a connection to my own family living through that time. While my father's book does not discuss the violence directly, he makes reference to it. In fact, my great-grandfather, Nai Nai's father was a government official at the time who got caught in the middle. You see, Japan took advantage of a country that was already weak and torn. Japanese occupation only further ripped the country apart, with some supporting a military defense, others supporting negotiations. My great-grandfather was somewhere in between. He already left Chongqing, which is where the Chinese government was stationed during the war. That was viewed as a betrayal. Yet, he did not know if negotiations would be successful. Either way, he felt like he had signed a death sentence.
I just finished the chapter where my great-grandfather leaves his family in Hong Kong and goes to Shanghai to join the negotiations. He doesn't know if he'll ever come home.
Nai Nai's family, my great-grandfather is on the right
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Chapter 8
I just wrote the last sentence to chapter 8, something that took me 5 days.
I knew this chapter would be different from all the other ones before it. Chapters 1-7 gave me a little insight to my grandmother as a young woman. It's funny because I always pictured her as this extraordinarily strong woman, but in the first and fifth chapters, my father introduces her as a slightly spoiled teenager. I enjoyed it because I could certainly relate to her much better. In the chapters in between, I heard about my great-grandparents, their arranged marriage and their great respect for one another that turned into love. I learned about my great-grandfather's great love and dedication to his daughters, despite his own family's disgust that they were girls.
While reading one of the earlier chapters, I found out something about my family I never knew before. My grandmother had an older sister. My father always said Nai Nai was the oldest of 7 children. He never mentioned an older sister. So when my great-grandmother gave birth to her first child, I thought it was my grandmother, until I discovered the name. Unfortunately, I knew this could only mean one thing.
Like I mentioned earlier, I knew chapter 8 was going to be different because my dad sent it as two separate audio files. He mentioned he got choked up and wasn't sure how to pause the recorder so he stopped it. I thought I was mentally prepared for what was to come.
Little did I know, I would be sitting in the middle of a bookstore, crying my eyes out as I translated. I should have known better than to grow attached to Nai Nai's sister. I knew she wasn't going to survive, yet I let myself love her so much. When she passed away at the end of chapter 8, I took it very personally. She was only 3-years-old. I eventually left the bookstore, afraid I was making too big of a scene with my tear-soaked napkins and noisy sobs. I called my dad barely able to speak. My heart just ached for my great-grandmother who couldn't do anything to stop this disease that took her daughter's life and for the little girl whose short life was already filled with so much pain.
Right now, I'm about to begin chapter 9. This time I'm staying at home, armed with tissues because my father told me to be prepared.
So...here we go.
I knew this chapter would be different from all the other ones before it. Chapters 1-7 gave me a little insight to my grandmother as a young woman. It's funny because I always pictured her as this extraordinarily strong woman, but in the first and fifth chapters, my father introduces her as a slightly spoiled teenager. I enjoyed it because I could certainly relate to her much better. In the chapters in between, I heard about my great-grandparents, their arranged marriage and their great respect for one another that turned into love. I learned about my great-grandfather's great love and dedication to his daughters, despite his own family's disgust that they were girls.
While reading one of the earlier chapters, I found out something about my family I never knew before. My grandmother had an older sister. My father always said Nai Nai was the oldest of 7 children. He never mentioned an older sister. So when my great-grandmother gave birth to her first child, I thought it was my grandmother, until I discovered the name. Unfortunately, I knew this could only mean one thing.
Like I mentioned earlier, I knew chapter 8 was going to be different because my dad sent it as two separate audio files. He mentioned he got choked up and wasn't sure how to pause the recorder so he stopped it. I thought I was mentally prepared for what was to come.
Little did I know, I would be sitting in the middle of a bookstore, crying my eyes out as I translated. I should have known better than to grow attached to Nai Nai's sister. I knew she wasn't going to survive, yet I let myself love her so much. When she passed away at the end of chapter 8, I took it very personally. She was only 3-years-old. I eventually left the bookstore, afraid I was making too big of a scene with my tear-soaked napkins and noisy sobs. I called my dad barely able to speak. My heart just ached for my great-grandmother who couldn't do anything to stop this disease that took her daughter's life and for the little girl whose short life was already filled with so much pain.
Right now, I'm about to begin chapter 9. This time I'm staying at home, armed with tissues because my father told me to be prepared.
So...here we go.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Taking One Step Back
So before I get too far into the translation process, I thought I'd give a little background.
My father's book in Chinese is called Suo Na Yan Chen. Suo Na is a Chinese instrument. Wikipedia refers to it as a Chinese oboe. Yan Chen is the dust kicked up by your feet when you walk. These are references to my great-grandmother's wedding day, which I'll talk more about another time, when I actually start getting into the chapters.
The book is set up like this: every 5th chapter is about Nai Nai as a teenager. The chapters in between are about her parents, my great-grandparents. At first, I didn't know how interested I would be in the chapters about my great-grandparents. But so far, I've enjoyed those the most!
Here's what I already knew about Nai Nai before I started the book. Her favorite book was Tess of the D'Urbervilles. She was the oldest of 7 children and the only girl. Her father, my great-grandfather, worked as an adviser to Chiang Kai-shek, the leader of the Nationalist Party in China during the early 20th century. Because of my family's ties with the Kuomingtang, they were forced to escape to Taiwan when Mao Zedong led the Chinese Communist revolution. My grandmother, though, chose to stay in mainland China for my grandfather. At one point, my grandmother was accepted to a university in England, but she did not go. I'm not too clear as to the reason why. Finally, my grandmother was a great moving force in my father's life, both in her life and in her death.
That's not very much and I'm unsure of a lot of the details. In fact, I don't even know how many of those details are actually true and how many have gotten lost in my brain over time. It's too bad I didn't listen more carefully as I was growing up. (My dad is reading this blog so maybe he can add some insight.)
So far, I've translated 8 chapters. Some of them easier than others. My father included a lot of historical events. Everything in the book is true. In addition, my father wrote his book to appeal to the Chinese reader, who wants to read about historical facts rather than develop emotional attachments to compelling people and stories. And since the Tao family is relatively well-known in Chinese history, my father made sure he wrote this book using the highest level of classical Chinese, so there are a lot of terms I don't understand. But even through all that, he has this amazing ability to create characters that I'm really bonding with. I like to think it's not just because my father is a brilliant storyteller, but more because these people aren't merely characters...they're my ancestors, my family, my blood.
Yesterday, after starting this blog, I asked my dad to email me some photos of my grandmother. I feel like to see her is to know her.
I'll start with a photo that features my two inspirations for this great personal journey:
Yes, I know...I thought the exact same thing when I saw this picture for the first time. My father was such a cute little baby and Nai Nai was absolutely beautiful!
I'm just so glad I'm old enough now to appreciate how lucky I am to have such a rich family history. And one that has been captured so well through words passed down through the generations. I only hope to continue this tradition in my own way.
My father's book in Chinese is called Suo Na Yan Chen. Suo Na is a Chinese instrument. Wikipedia refers to it as a Chinese oboe. Yan Chen is the dust kicked up by your feet when you walk. These are references to my great-grandmother's wedding day, which I'll talk more about another time, when I actually start getting into the chapters.
The book is set up like this: every 5th chapter is about Nai Nai as a teenager. The chapters in between are about her parents, my great-grandparents. At first, I didn't know how interested I would be in the chapters about my great-grandparents. But so far, I've enjoyed those the most!
Here's what I already knew about Nai Nai before I started the book. Her favorite book was Tess of the D'Urbervilles. She was the oldest of 7 children and the only girl. Her father, my great-grandfather, worked as an adviser to Chiang Kai-shek, the leader of the Nationalist Party in China during the early 20th century. Because of my family's ties with the Kuomingtang, they were forced to escape to Taiwan when Mao Zedong led the Chinese Communist revolution. My grandmother, though, chose to stay in mainland China for my grandfather. At one point, my grandmother was accepted to a university in England, but she did not go. I'm not too clear as to the reason why. Finally, my grandmother was a great moving force in my father's life, both in her life and in her death.
That's not very much and I'm unsure of a lot of the details. In fact, I don't even know how many of those details are actually true and how many have gotten lost in my brain over time. It's too bad I didn't listen more carefully as I was growing up. (My dad is reading this blog so maybe he can add some insight.)
So far, I've translated 8 chapters. Some of them easier than others. My father included a lot of historical events. Everything in the book is true. In addition, my father wrote his book to appeal to the Chinese reader, who wants to read about historical facts rather than develop emotional attachments to compelling people and stories. And since the Tao family is relatively well-known in Chinese history, my father made sure he wrote this book using the highest level of classical Chinese, so there are a lot of terms I don't understand. But even through all that, he has this amazing ability to create characters that I'm really bonding with. I like to think it's not just because my father is a brilliant storyteller, but more because these people aren't merely characters...they're my ancestors, my family, my blood.
Yesterday, after starting this blog, I asked my dad to email me some photos of my grandmother. I feel like to see her is to know her.
I'll start with a photo that features my two inspirations for this great personal journey:
Yes, I know...I thought the exact same thing when I saw this picture for the first time. My father was such a cute little baby and Nai Nai was absolutely beautiful!
I'm just so glad I'm old enough now to appreciate how lucky I am to have such a rich family history. And one that has been captured so well through words passed down through the generations. I only hope to continue this tradition in my own way.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Getting Started
My father is a writer. Unfortunately for me and, in my opinion, other American readers, he writes in Chinese. All of his books are published in China and Taiwan. His greatest piece of work is the book he wrote about his mother, who I call Nai Nai. That book is the inspiration for this blog.
I remember when he started writing this book. I had just started high school and was too busy trying to be American to really care. I grew up hearing my dad's stories about our family's history, so I usually just feigned interest, rolled my eyes and sighed loudly.
It wasn't until recently that I began to think about Nai Nai's life. This woman, who died when my father was a teenager during the Chinese Cultural Revolution, was such a mystery to me. Sure I've heard my dad say she led a remarkable life. She was incredibly strong during a very difficult time in Chinese history. With everything going against her, she was able to rise above and continue to live her life with class and dignity. But that's all so general! Who was she really? I can see the black and white photo my dad hangs in his office perfectly in my head. What an embarrassment. Not only am I a granddaughter who doesn't know a thing about her grandmother, I am a daughter who has never even read her own father's book.
So, a couple of months ago, I decided to start this journey. I asked my dad to read his book and record it for me. Right now, I'm translating the chapters into English. The goal is to someday write a book about Nai Nai's story myself. I know my father never wanted his book translated into English so it could be published in the United States. He probably felt it was too personal and the emotional attachment would get lost in translation. More importantly, he probably waited because he wanted me to write it. Well, scratch that "probably" because I know he's always wanted me to write it. And that's most likely the reason I've avoided the subject for as long as I did.
It's incredibly intimidating. From just the writing standpoint, this will be challenging enough. I spent the last 7 years of my life writing at a 4th grade level for TV news viewers. But, personally...I just don't know what to expect. My mother once told me, while my father wrote this book, there were nights he would cry himself to sleep. While telling his mother's story was one of the most important things he had to do in life, it was also one of the hardest. He essentially had to relive all of her pain and suffering. She grew up during the Japanese invasion of China and died during the Communist takeover. What will all of this mean to me?
This blog is a journal of my experience as I explore Nai Nai's life. I'm still working on a title and how I want to chronicle this. After all, if the book ever gets published (fingers crossed!) I don't want to give away too many details about the book itself.
I remember when he started writing this book. I had just started high school and was too busy trying to be American to really care. I grew up hearing my dad's stories about our family's history, so I usually just feigned interest, rolled my eyes and sighed loudly.
It wasn't until recently that I began to think about Nai Nai's life. This woman, who died when my father was a teenager during the Chinese Cultural Revolution, was such a mystery to me. Sure I've heard my dad say she led a remarkable life. She was incredibly strong during a very difficult time in Chinese history. With everything going against her, she was able to rise above and continue to live her life with class and dignity. But that's all so general! Who was she really? I can see the black and white photo my dad hangs in his office perfectly in my head. What an embarrassment. Not only am I a granddaughter who doesn't know a thing about her grandmother, I am a daughter who has never even read her own father's book.
So, a couple of months ago, I decided to start this journey. I asked my dad to read his book and record it for me. Right now, I'm translating the chapters into English. The goal is to someday write a book about Nai Nai's story myself. I know my father never wanted his book translated into English so it could be published in the United States. He probably felt it was too personal and the emotional attachment would get lost in translation. More importantly, he probably waited because he wanted me to write it. Well, scratch that "probably" because I know he's always wanted me to write it. And that's most likely the reason I've avoided the subject for as long as I did.
It's incredibly intimidating. From just the writing standpoint, this will be challenging enough. I spent the last 7 years of my life writing at a 4th grade level for TV news viewers. But, personally...I just don't know what to expect. My mother once told me, while my father wrote this book, there were nights he would cry himself to sleep. While telling his mother's story was one of the most important things he had to do in life, it was also one of the hardest. He essentially had to relive all of her pain and suffering. She grew up during the Japanese invasion of China and died during the Communist takeover. What will all of this mean to me?
This blog is a journal of my experience as I explore Nai Nai's life. I'm still working on a title and how I want to chronicle this. After all, if the book ever gets published (fingers crossed!) I don't want to give away too many details about the book itself.
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