Revisiting Emotions

After several busy weeks at work, I am finally back on a normal schedule and back to working on my father's book.  I have to admit, and I know my father reads this, but I was bored for a few chapters because they were mostly historical. 

Then today, that all changed.  Chapter 32 brought me back to the early chapters of the book.  The ones that I enjoyed so much...when my great-grandmother was first married and living in her mother-in-laws house.   She returned to the house after several years away in Shanghai, living with her husband, my great-grandfather.

Before I get too ahead of myself, here's a peek at what led to this.  My great-grandfather left his publishing job in Shanghai to join the revolution.  He accepted a position at a military school in Wuhan.  The revolution was picking up speed and soon war broke out.  It was making its way to Wuhan, so my great-grandfather had to join the battle.  For their safety, my great-grandmother took the children and returned to her mother-in-law's house.  It was as if nothing had changed.  Her mother-in-law immediately blamed my great-grandmother, saying she did not do enough to keep my great-grandfather from war.  She said my great-grandmother killed him, sent him to his grave for "allowing" him to join the military.  She ordered my great-grandmother to go find him and bring him home.  Fortunately, to protect the family line, her mother-in-law allowed my great-grandmother to leave her two older children at the house.

Before she left, my great-grandmother went to visit Li Zhu's grave.  You'll remember, Li Zhu was her oldest daughter, who had died several years earlier, at the end of Chapter 8.  My great-grandmother's pain and heartache was still so fresh.  Despite the years that had passed, she never once forgot about Li Zhu.  The raw emotion was overwhelming.  My eyes were so filled with tears as I listened to this passage, I could not see the computer keys or what I was typing on the screen.

Nothing in their lives were easy.  It was a constant struggle to survive.  And, this is just the beginning.  The worst is yet to come.  Nevertheless, my great-grandparents managed to lead a life filled with integrity and honor.  They passed onto their children that same sense of sincerity and virtue.  My grandmother instilled the same into my father.  Now, I can only hope that I carry some of those qualities as well.