I just wrote the last sentence to chapter 8, something that took me 5 days.
I knew this chapter would be different from all the other ones before it. Chapters 1-7 gave me a little insight to my grandmother as a young woman. It's funny because I always pictured her as this extraordinarily strong woman, but in the first and fifth chapters, my father introduces her as a slightly spoiled teenager. I enjoyed it because I could certainly relate to her much better. In the chapters in between, I heard about my great-grandparents, their arranged marriage and their great respect for one another that turned into love. I learned about my great-grandfather's great love and dedication to his daughters, despite his own family's disgust that they were girls.
While reading one of the earlier chapters, I found out something about my family I never knew before. My grandmother had an older sister. My father always said Nai Nai was the oldest of 7 children. He never mentioned an older sister. So when my great-grandmother gave birth to her first child, I thought it was my grandmother, until I discovered the name. Unfortunately, I knew this could only mean one thing.
Like I mentioned earlier, I knew chapter 8 was going to be different because my dad sent it as two separate audio files. He mentioned he got choked up and wasn't sure how to pause the recorder so he stopped it. I thought I was mentally prepared for what was to come.
Little did I know, I would be sitting in the middle of a bookstore, crying my eyes out as I translated. I should have known better than to grow attached to Nai Nai's sister. I knew she wasn't going to survive, yet I let myself love her so much. When she passed away at the end of chapter 8, I took it very personally. She was only 3-years-old. I eventually left the bookstore, afraid I was making too big of a scene with my tear-soaked napkins and noisy sobs. I called my dad barely able to speak. My heart just ached for my great-grandmother who couldn't do anything to stop this disease that took her daughter's life and for the little girl whose short life was already filled with so much pain.
Right now, I'm about to begin chapter 9. This time I'm staying at home, armed with tissues because my father told me to be prepared.
So...here we go.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Taking One Step Back
So before I get too far into the translation process, I thought I'd give a little background.
My father's book in Chinese is called Suo Na Yan Chen. Suo Na is a Chinese instrument. Wikipedia refers to it as a Chinese oboe. Yan Chen is the dust kicked up by your feet when you walk. These are references to my great-grandmother's wedding day, which I'll talk more about another time, when I actually start getting into the chapters.
The book is set up like this: every 5th chapter is about Nai Nai as a teenager. The chapters in between are about her parents, my great-grandparents. At first, I didn't know how interested I would be in the chapters about my great-grandparents. But so far, I've enjoyed those the most!
Here's what I already knew about Nai Nai before I started the book. Her favorite book was Tess of the D'Urbervilles. She was the oldest of 7 children and the only girl. Her father, my great-grandfather, worked as an adviser to Chiang Kai-shek, the leader of the Nationalist Party in China during the early 20th century. Because of my family's ties with the Kuomingtang, they were forced to escape to Taiwan when Mao Zedong led the Chinese Communist revolution. My grandmother, though, chose to stay in mainland China for my grandfather. At one point, my grandmother was accepted to a university in England, but she did not go. I'm not too clear as to the reason why. Finally, my grandmother was a great moving force in my father's life, both in her life and in her death.
That's not very much and I'm unsure of a lot of the details. In fact, I don't even know how many of those details are actually true and how many have gotten lost in my brain over time. It's too bad I didn't listen more carefully as I was growing up. (My dad is reading this blog so maybe he can add some insight.)
So far, I've translated 8 chapters. Some of them easier than others. My father included a lot of historical events. Everything in the book is true. In addition, my father wrote his book to appeal to the Chinese reader, who wants to read about historical facts rather than develop emotional attachments to compelling people and stories. And since the Tao family is relatively well-known in Chinese history, my father made sure he wrote this book using the highest level of classical Chinese, so there are a lot of terms I don't understand. But even through all that, he has this amazing ability to create characters that I'm really bonding with. I like to think it's not just because my father is a brilliant storyteller, but more because these people aren't merely characters...they're my ancestors, my family, my blood.
Yesterday, after starting this blog, I asked my dad to email me some photos of my grandmother. I feel like to see her is to know her.
I'll start with a photo that features my two inspirations for this great personal journey:
Yes, I know...I thought the exact same thing when I saw this picture for the first time. My father was such a cute little baby and Nai Nai was absolutely beautiful!
I'm just so glad I'm old enough now to appreciate how lucky I am to have such a rich family history. And one that has been captured so well through words passed down through the generations. I only hope to continue this tradition in my own way.
My father's book in Chinese is called Suo Na Yan Chen. Suo Na is a Chinese instrument. Wikipedia refers to it as a Chinese oboe. Yan Chen is the dust kicked up by your feet when you walk. These are references to my great-grandmother's wedding day, which I'll talk more about another time, when I actually start getting into the chapters.
The book is set up like this: every 5th chapter is about Nai Nai as a teenager. The chapters in between are about her parents, my great-grandparents. At first, I didn't know how interested I would be in the chapters about my great-grandparents. But so far, I've enjoyed those the most!
Here's what I already knew about Nai Nai before I started the book. Her favorite book was Tess of the D'Urbervilles. She was the oldest of 7 children and the only girl. Her father, my great-grandfather, worked as an adviser to Chiang Kai-shek, the leader of the Nationalist Party in China during the early 20th century. Because of my family's ties with the Kuomingtang, they were forced to escape to Taiwan when Mao Zedong led the Chinese Communist revolution. My grandmother, though, chose to stay in mainland China for my grandfather. At one point, my grandmother was accepted to a university in England, but she did not go. I'm not too clear as to the reason why. Finally, my grandmother was a great moving force in my father's life, both in her life and in her death.
That's not very much and I'm unsure of a lot of the details. In fact, I don't even know how many of those details are actually true and how many have gotten lost in my brain over time. It's too bad I didn't listen more carefully as I was growing up. (My dad is reading this blog so maybe he can add some insight.)
So far, I've translated 8 chapters. Some of them easier than others. My father included a lot of historical events. Everything in the book is true. In addition, my father wrote his book to appeal to the Chinese reader, who wants to read about historical facts rather than develop emotional attachments to compelling people and stories. And since the Tao family is relatively well-known in Chinese history, my father made sure he wrote this book using the highest level of classical Chinese, so there are a lot of terms I don't understand. But even through all that, he has this amazing ability to create characters that I'm really bonding with. I like to think it's not just because my father is a brilliant storyteller, but more because these people aren't merely characters...they're my ancestors, my family, my blood.
Yesterday, after starting this blog, I asked my dad to email me some photos of my grandmother. I feel like to see her is to know her.
I'll start with a photo that features my two inspirations for this great personal journey:
Yes, I know...I thought the exact same thing when I saw this picture for the first time. My father was such a cute little baby and Nai Nai was absolutely beautiful!
I'm just so glad I'm old enough now to appreciate how lucky I am to have such a rich family history. And one that has been captured so well through words passed down through the generations. I only hope to continue this tradition in my own way.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Getting Started
My father is a writer. Unfortunately for me and, in my opinion, other American readers, he writes in Chinese. All of his books are published in China and Taiwan. His greatest piece of work is the book he wrote about his mother, who I call Nai Nai. That book is the inspiration for this blog.
I remember when he started writing this book. I had just started high school and was too busy trying to be American to really care. I grew up hearing my dad's stories about our family's history, so I usually just feigned interest, rolled my eyes and sighed loudly.
It wasn't until recently that I began to think about Nai Nai's life. This woman, who died when my father was a teenager during the Chinese Cultural Revolution, was such a mystery to me. Sure I've heard my dad say she led a remarkable life. She was incredibly strong during a very difficult time in Chinese history. With everything going against her, she was able to rise above and continue to live her life with class and dignity. But that's all so general! Who was she really? I can see the black and white photo my dad hangs in his office perfectly in my head. What an embarrassment. Not only am I a granddaughter who doesn't know a thing about her grandmother, I am a daughter who has never even read her own father's book.
So, a couple of months ago, I decided to start this journey. I asked my dad to read his book and record it for me. Right now, I'm translating the chapters into English. The goal is to someday write a book about Nai Nai's story myself. I know my father never wanted his book translated into English so it could be published in the United States. He probably felt it was too personal and the emotional attachment would get lost in translation. More importantly, he probably waited because he wanted me to write it. Well, scratch that "probably" because I know he's always wanted me to write it. And that's most likely the reason I've avoided the subject for as long as I did.
It's incredibly intimidating. From just the writing standpoint, this will be challenging enough. I spent the last 7 years of my life writing at a 4th grade level for TV news viewers. But, personally...I just don't know what to expect. My mother once told me, while my father wrote this book, there were nights he would cry himself to sleep. While telling his mother's story was one of the most important things he had to do in life, it was also one of the hardest. He essentially had to relive all of her pain and suffering. She grew up during the Japanese invasion of China and died during the Communist takeover. What will all of this mean to me?
This blog is a journal of my experience as I explore Nai Nai's life. I'm still working on a title and how I want to chronicle this. After all, if the book ever gets published (fingers crossed!) I don't want to give away too many details about the book itself.
I remember when he started writing this book. I had just started high school and was too busy trying to be American to really care. I grew up hearing my dad's stories about our family's history, so I usually just feigned interest, rolled my eyes and sighed loudly.
It wasn't until recently that I began to think about Nai Nai's life. This woman, who died when my father was a teenager during the Chinese Cultural Revolution, was such a mystery to me. Sure I've heard my dad say she led a remarkable life. She was incredibly strong during a very difficult time in Chinese history. With everything going against her, she was able to rise above and continue to live her life with class and dignity. But that's all so general! Who was she really? I can see the black and white photo my dad hangs in his office perfectly in my head. What an embarrassment. Not only am I a granddaughter who doesn't know a thing about her grandmother, I am a daughter who has never even read her own father's book.
So, a couple of months ago, I decided to start this journey. I asked my dad to read his book and record it for me. Right now, I'm translating the chapters into English. The goal is to someday write a book about Nai Nai's story myself. I know my father never wanted his book translated into English so it could be published in the United States. He probably felt it was too personal and the emotional attachment would get lost in translation. More importantly, he probably waited because he wanted me to write it. Well, scratch that "probably" because I know he's always wanted me to write it. And that's most likely the reason I've avoided the subject for as long as I did.
It's incredibly intimidating. From just the writing standpoint, this will be challenging enough. I spent the last 7 years of my life writing at a 4th grade level for TV news viewers. But, personally...I just don't know what to expect. My mother once told me, while my father wrote this book, there were nights he would cry himself to sleep. While telling his mother's story was one of the most important things he had to do in life, it was also one of the hardest. He essentially had to relive all of her pain and suffering. She grew up during the Japanese invasion of China and died during the Communist takeover. What will all of this mean to me?
This blog is a journal of my experience as I explore Nai Nai's life. I'm still working on a title and how I want to chronicle this. After all, if the book ever gets published (fingers crossed!) I don't want to give away too many details about the book itself.
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